Brooklyn based comedian & writer.
More about me here: benhosley.com
Or there is Twitter: @benhosley
Say hello: ben.hosley at gmail dot com
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Applebees Joke
Went to Applebees and ended up meeting a girl at the bar and getting laid. The sex was alright–a bit salty. The whole thing just felt overdone and tacky. Plus she had braces and was so awkward the whole time. Kept telling me to be quiet. Then her parents threw me out of the house.
(Source: benhosley)
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Me And My Girl
My girlfriend and I share a deep bond. It’s like shes a sister or a daughter to me–but with benefits.
(Source: benhosley)
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Bizarre Foods
That fat fuck on Bizarre Foods revealed in an episode that he was homeless for a year and a crack addict. No wonder my man can eat dick, hes had that shit in his mouth before.
(Source: benhosley)
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Fucked Up Teeth
NYC has some of the most beautiful women in the world. I love seeing a sexy lady walk down the street and I notice shes got fucked up teeth. There is something about a little gap or a cute dead tooth for me. It probably has to do with the fact I have a better chance of fucking them.
(Source: benhosley)
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Drug Problem Advice
If someone in your life is having problems with drugs here is a good piece of advice:
If you smoke crack in a glass house - stop. Everyone can see you crackhead.
(Source: benhosley)
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A Dyslexic Man
A dyslexic man was struck by a car today in Queens. While crossing the street he answered the age-old question, how did the road cross the chicken?
(Source: benhosley)
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I Asked A Gun Store Clerk…
I asked a clerk at a gun store, “what would a shot sound like if there was no one around to hear it?”
He answered, “probably something dying.”
Well played sir.
(Source: benhosley)
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Inner Fear
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